You know Ceasar F. Barajas as a yoga and meditation instructor on NEOU. But you probably don’t know the years-long journey he took to get to this place of calmness and balance. Explore his story as told to Mike Simone and check out his latest program, A Meditation Journey on NEOU.

The Early Days

I was born in El Paso, Texas, as a first-generation American. I might as well have been a military brat because my family moved all over the Southwest. By the time I was in eighth grade, I had been in about eight different schools. We ended up settling in Houston, so I tell people that I am from H town, Houston, Texas, baby.

Growing up I was very athletic, playing baseball, basketball, and soccer. I could also pick up choreography and retain it, so I started dancing professionally at a Six Flags theme park as my afterschool job during high school.

Unfortunately, though, there was also a dark side to this time in my life. I was a victim of physical, mental, and verbal abuse all through adulthood. I carried around that anger for years that led to difficult situations in my life, but ultimately, I learned to ask for help and discovered the power of meditation.

Ceasar and his younger brother, Alejandro

College & The Military

I wanted to go to the University of Florida in Gainesville and study pre-med, but we couldn't afford it. I committed to joining the U.S. Navy because I knew that I could be in a position to have college completely paid for if I worked hard enough to earn a scholarship.

I joined in 1993 and spent seven years as a Hospital Corpsman (medic) which furthered my interest in science and biology and the medical field. During this time, I got picked up for an officer accessioning program, which means that I had a full ride to college. I ended up going back to Texas to attend an HBCU (Historically Black College/University) outside of Houston called Prairie View A&M University. I was a biology pre-med major and I also danced for the college’s dance company and played on the baseball team.

I was getting ready to graduate in 1999 when the Navy said they were not going to send me to medical school. Instead, I was going to be an officer on a ship because they were going back to the Middle East.

Back to Civilian Life

I was honorably discharged from the Navy in 2000 and had no idea what was next. I decided to go to graduate school for commercial performance, which is an emphasis on voice theater and dance. Fast forward to now and I've had this storied professional performing career — I’ve been in dozens of Broadway regional shows, I've danced professionally for ballet and modern companies, I’ve choreographed for films and television, I’ve been in music videos for J Lo, Chris Brown, and opened a show for Janet Jackson. And I’ve done and choreographed stunts and fight work for film and theatre.

Finding Emotional Sobriety

Despite my successes, my past traumas made it so that I was this close to being one of those 20-a-day suicide veteran statistics. I said, "I have to talk to somebody." Again, I grew up in a Latinx household. There is no talking about your feelings and my father, God bless him, is the strongest man I know, but the house doesn't really invite you to open up. I called this employee assistance program in 2010 and the first person I spoke to was a Marine Corps veteran who got me in touch with a therapist.

My very first therapist, Steve, thank God for Steve, was patient enough to instill in me the value of simply focusing on my breath. He introduced me to the ideologies of meditation, Reiki healing, crystals, mantras, and affirmations. That started my path to emotional sobriety.

Initially, though, I thought it was all a crock and didn’t believe in it. There was a time period where I would only meditate if I happened to remind myself or if Steve was like, "Hey, did you meditate this week?" And I'm like, "Oh no, but I'll do it in the car when I leave here." What I didn't realize is that I was spending quite a bit of time in LA traffic, and I'm sitting in the car in silence, not realizing that that's a variation of moving meditation.

Fast forward to me getting my official yoga teacher training certificate in 2013. We were led in a yoga class to meditate for the first few minutes before and the last few minutes after. That’s when I started to sit in stillness and learned that there are various forms of meditation.

Spreading Hope to All

In 2015 I joined the Veterans Yoga Project and discovered the physiology behind the breath. Coming from a science background, I have an understanding of what happens inside of our bodies systemically. I was like, “Oh my gosh. Now it makes sense.” Breathing uses the vagus nerve, which stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, and helps you relax.

That’s when I started to truly develop a daily practice and I learned to teach meditation to others. It doesn't have to be in stillness for 25 minutes, cross-legged, stroking your beard, looking at the clouds. No. I learned then that I can meditate every day in some form by coming to a place where I'm just aware of my breath.

I now know why meditation is a dynamic skill that needs to be practiced. If I stop to take that one deep breath, it puts me in a proactive place rather than a reactive place. It's a way for me to deal with my anxiety, my stress, my depression, and my post-traumatic stress, which were officially diagnosed.

Meditation has allowed me to flourish into my career, but only this year have I been propelled to a place where I'm finally understanding who I am in my own self-worth and value.

Meditation saved my life. I am grateful to be in this position, creating A Meditation Journey on NEOU so that we can share with people that it is possible to be okay and to feel not okay.

No matter what is happening, no matter how good you feel, how bad you feel, no matter how terrible you think something is or how joyful you think something is, sit with it, be with it; because it will change. This life is nothing but impermanence. As long as you're carrying hope in your heart (hope is an aggressive expectation that something good will happen) then you have a fighting chance. Do not lose hope. Understand that what you're feeling is also something that someone else is feeling. You are supported. You are loved. You are heard. You are seen.

Begin your own Meditation Journey with Ceasar on NEOU.